Tag: Runner

That’s a flipping long way….

Posted on by chunkyrunner41

Nerves were very much a factor in the 24 hours before the Manchester Marathon, with all my hydration mindfulness and carb loading threatening to be undone by a terrified tummy. As we arrived at the tram stop to go to the start at Old Trafford, with around at least a million other people, I prayed that it would behave and I wouldn’t become a meme or cautionary tale.

My husband and his gang went off (earlier starts) and Merida and I dropped our bags, joined a never-ending toilet queue and then set off to the start. It was at this point that we said goodbye and good luck (Merida is much faster than me) and I tried to gather my thoughts.

If you’d read my blog before you’ll know that I don’t fare well in hot conditions. Indeed it was one of the reasons why Manchester had been a choice being famously un-hot. I had even over-prepared for this unlikely sunny day by doing my long runs later on a Sunday and it had been warm. However, already at 10.30am on Sunday it was warmer than ideal and although I was determined not to stress, I was a little bit anxious.

Some loud music, a countdown and then we were off.

Merida and I had had a good honest chat and I knew that I was likely to “swept” by the bus on the latter parts of the race, but I would and could still finish (you don’t have to get on the bus, you can move to the pavement). BoB was coming up for the day to support and she was dressed to run/walk for a bit from mile 18 with me (expecting to be swept around mile 20/21) to keep morale up. My youngest daughter and her friend Rose were also on the course so I was feeling quite positive.

The first 10k went by quickly, fairly comfortably and without incident. Manchester were out and they were loud. Support on the race was fantastic. The weather was great for the supporters with roads closed and garden parties in full swing.

But it was hot. My feet were burning and I felt like I was running on hot coals. I tried to ignore it and keep going but at mile 9 I felt light headed and had to stop for a wobble and was sick on the side of the road. Of course, a Marshall came flying over to check and I wobbled even more. She held my hand, poured water over my neck and suggested I take a little rest and perhaps not carry on?….I explained through my wobbling lip, that I had to keep going due to sponsorship money and this silly blog that I write… We negotiated for a bit and I promised to be sensible so she said to go slowly and she would ask a friend to look out for me a bit up the field. I nodded and wobbled off.

Her friend appeared about 4 minutes later (clearly had been looking for me) and again my legs threatened to buckle. I think it’s sometimes better to be left alone in your vomit, misery and terror for as soon as someone is nice and caring to me, it makes it all so much worse. It’s easier to give yourself a kick up the arse as there’s no other option but to finish (I mean, I’d trained so hard) but when kind strangers are mopping your brow and telling you perhaps you should call it a day, it’s harder to keep going.

I was plopped on some steps in the shade and some nice policemen sat with me for a bit. I knew I had to get up and move else the demons would take over so I promised I would walk, and against everyone’s advice I walked round the corner.

For the next few miles I ran/walked at 30/30 but it got hotter and hotter and around mile 15 it became clear that if I was to finish in one piece, it would be walking.

I called my daughter as I was desperate for a friendly face and she and Rose found and walked with me for a bit which was amazing, but I was still quite teary and feeling a bit pathetic. Then around mile 17 or so (honestly it’s a bit fuzzy) BoB appeared. Bob is an extraordinary woman. She has 4 sons, a very big job and has completed numerous marathons and usually does a full Ironman every single year. I am in total awe and she was exactly what I needed on Sunday. We had originally planned that she would be joining me for 5-6 miles of run/walking but there was no running and she could instantly see that.

So we started to walk. But it was still 10 miles to go and that is a flipping long way on it’s own. But walk we did. She regaled me with stories of her times living in Manchester “back in the day” and I followed her obediently, eating salt that she ran into a pub to retrieve, dipping my finger into electrolytes like a sherbet dip and drinking water, often. She cheered and clapped the kind and welcoming spectators and she even carried my hydration vest when I stated angrily that I was throwing it away as it was “too heavy”. She named herself my “Marathon Butler”.

I was still having the odd physical wobble in the heat but kept moving forward with purpose.

Manchester meanwhile were DRUNK and SO magnificent. Gorgeous humans were out with their hoses sprinkling us to keep us cool, offering water in their own cups, cheering, clapping, whooping and in one terrifying moment and lady, who had clearly been “supporting” through several drinks over several hours, grabbed my hand and tried to make me run. My glutes and hamstrings were cramping off and on from about mile 18 and this was dangerous so I politely said I can’t run but she cheered all the same.

The sweeper bus found us about 19 miles. I had been dreading it even though I knew it was inevitable but they were kind and supportive. They explained that we just needed to move to the pavement as the roads would be re-opening (have to say, apart from one stretch on the lead up to a motorway, actually the roads didn’t reopen at all) but we had 8.5 hours to finish to get a medal. I was so relieved and we had a cheer – I was going to get a medal and I WAS going to finish. We kept moving forward.

Everything hurt at this point. Feet were 100% on fire, ankles were sore, knee (and my knee NEVER hurts) had a weird spiking pain that kept going through it, my shoulders were aching and glutes and hamstrings kept cramping. Honestly, it was like a comedy sketch that wasn’t funny at all.

Finally, after 7 hours and 42 minutes I crossed the line and got my medal. Husband, his gang, Merida, daughter and Rose were all there. I was absolutely elated and completely broken. It was a weird sensation.

I’m not sure if I would have got round without Bob and her never ending positivity. I wasn’t a snivelling wreck (most of the time) but I was in pain and definitely not enjoying myself so it can’t have been the best 10 miles she’s ever travelled. But I am forever grateful for her walking with me and thank you “BoB” for being my friend. I will never, ever forget it.

I’m proud to say that I raised, to date, £1062 for Mind. I am so chuffed with this. If you donated, thank you so much. If you’d still like to, the link is here: https://www.justgiving.com/page/claire-tiley-2?utm_medium=FR&utm_source=CL&utm_campaign=015

Husband got in under 4.30, Merida under 5 hours and Mr Canard just (excrutiatingly just… argh) over 5 hours. All struggled in the heat but all got it done and done in style. It was so tough out there. Well done.

It was a busy day for the outstanding and wonderful marshalls and emergency services as so many people were taken ill in the heat. The earlier Marshall that had helped me actually walked past Bob and I in the latter stages of my race on her way home. She cheered and shouted and was obviously delighted to see me carrying on and still upright. These lovely people give up their day to support and look after us idiots and they’re invested in our success. Thank you lovely marshals.

After crossing the line most of the gang dispersed pretty quickly. Bob, daughter and Rose ran off to catch a train home. Husband and his gang (who had been hanging around for quite a while waiting for me) also then disappeared back to their man digs and this left Merida and I. Merida was in pretty good shape after running a marathon (she is a queen as my girls would say) and so she shepherded me to the pub for a pint of cold sweet lemonade, and then organised an Uber to collect us as the 20 minute walk back to the hotel just was not on the cards. Nope. Wasn’t going to happen.

We arrived at the hotel and I wasn’t feeling so good. The bar was full of people wearing medals and drinking and celebrating but I struggled to force a burger down and we went up to the room. It was at this point that things went a bit weird. I started shaking uncontrollably and was running hot and cold. This lasted for a few minutes and I just couldn’t stop. The shaking was happening in my tummy and then radiating out of my body. If I’d have been alone I’m sure I would have collapsed but thankfully Merida knew what to do and looked after me. The next day I was ok in myself but still not enormously hungry, had a headache and walking was not easy (my toes today still feel like they’ve been hit by a hammer). BUT, I had a medal and I had completed a marathon.

I’ve had a few days to digest it all now and have some thoughts.

I was hoping for c6.40-6.50 and all indicators from my training runs were that I could achieve this, but I came in an hour after this and I was initially annoyed. But now I am not. I am proud that I got round. Are there things I would do differently if I had my time again? Probably, but also, you cannot control the weather and regardless I have the medal. I got round, I earnt it and I’m proud of myself.

Life isn’t smooth and bad things happen but it’s how we deal with them that define us. We can do hard things. I did a hard thing (it was SO hard) and I’m so pleased with myself. I’m 50. I’m not really in peak physical condition (have I ever been?) but I did it.

So what next…..?

Actually nothing.  

I don’t mean, I’ll stop of course – I don’t think I can. But for now, it will be about enjoying exercise again. I’m desperate to have a few glasses of wine on a Saturday night and not worry about the “long run”. I want to pick up weights again and get strong (have already got a trainer ready to go to help with this – Tommy Trotter if you follow him on Instagram, with the mum who runs with wine….can’t imagine why I thought he would be a good fit for me?!) I want to get out on my bike and I want to put my wetsuit on and swim outdoors. I want to spend time with my wonderful friends and family and I want to take my dog to the river for a run. Life is joyful. Our family have had a hard 18 months and it’s time for us all to enjoy and relax a bit.

My husband pointed out to me, that unless I chose to do a full ironman (erm I think I just threw up in my mouth), I actually have a full set of medals. I’ve been thinking about which were my favourite races:

  • 5k – this would be the first time I ever ran 5k without stopping with the lovely Marshall Sue. I will never forget how she encouraged me and I managed it in March/April 2016.
  • 10k – this would either be my first Bristol 10k race with my sister “Running Sister” or the Bristol 10k in 2017 when I first met Merida and she offered to pace me.

I can’t choose between them as both are special.

What I do know is that without running I would never have met Merida and then Bob, Glinda, Hattie, the teacher and so SO many others who are now my friends.  I’m forever grateful that Merida offered that day and became such a wonderful, best and lifelong friend.

  • Half Marathon – This is hard. It would be between the GNR which I ran with the Red Lady the year both of our Mums died in 2019 or the London Landmarks in 2017 when Merida paced me to my sub 3 half marathon. I can’t choose. Both emotional for different reasons and both with very dear friends.
  • Marathon – I’ve only done one and I’m only ever doing 1. (although I did enter the London ballot before the weekend, before I knew the horrors of the marathon). When I don’t get a place though (as is inevitable) I won’t reapply. I’m happy with my one.
  • Sprint triathlon – Westonbirt the first time. Loved it!
  • Olympic distance triathlon – 51Fiver. Flying until the run (as is standard) but it was part of the triathlon club and so was great fun and full of camaraderie and support.
  • Half Iron distance – 113 in 2019. This was the only race my Mum ever came to watch me in and 4 days after the race she went into hospital and never came out. I’m proud to have finished that (absolutely ridiculous, what was I thinking?) race, but my Mum being there made it so special.

So there we have it.

And this will be my last ever blog post.

One day I might turn it into a proper book including a chapter entitled “what I learnt about running in the heat” (it will be a short chapter!) but for now nothing.

I hope my trials and tribulations have helped or inspired you to try something that you might not have tried before, or you’ve just enjoyed chuckling along.

But always remember that if I can do it, so can you. You just have to try.

Thank you for reading and supporting me.

The Taper

Posted on by chunkyrunner41

The taper is when you reduce your activity a bit so as not to arrive on the start line of your event, exhausted and crying. I’m hoping to not be exhausted, I’ve actually scheduled some crying in, but more of that later…
It’s a weird time. I’ve spent the last few months being grumpy about having to run in the cold/wind/rain/now it’s too hot/it’s raining again – you get the picture, and now I’m not supposed to be running and so all I want to do is go and run 10k….just in case. I want to do a run that feels easy and so I will be confident going into the race, but alas, running for me never feels easy and so the anxiety continues.
Yesterday I was supposed to run “easy”. I set off feeling like this was going to be the run where it finally clicked and I would be happy, but alas, the whole run was awful. I felt so slow I was going backwards, but when I finished, I found that I had been running 45 seconds FASTER per kilometre than average. My head is swimming!


I have my last run this evening with The Teacher, who is running the London Marathon, a sports massage tomorrow and then apart from walking and some stretching, nothing until Sunday. I will say, that the most positive thing about this whole training process has been that I have rediscovered my love for running with other people again. I haven’t really run with other people since Hattie moved up North and I started triathlon training. Cycling and swimming in groups yes, but running no. This is almost certainly one of the reasons why my running has faltered so badly as running alone is not a lot of fun.

But the running gang has returned and they have been amazing. The Teacher and I have trundled at least once a week for the past few weeks and it’s been great to run/chat again. Miss Eastpond is another one who has been AMAZING at accompanying me on some weekend long runs. This started with her meeting me for 5k in the middle of a long run and then she was suddenly running half marathons with me, when she didn’t have to?! Finally Sandra-Dee, who became my unofficial coach in the final few weeks. She has been brilliant at meeting me for those mid-week long runs when I’d had enough and was on my knees. She made sure I got those miles in.
I thank you all from the bottom of my heart for your kindness and it’s been fun.

I have a beeper (Gym Boss) that beeps every 30 seconds which is better than using my watch. My rule is that I do not walk more than 30 seconds at a time. If I run 30/30 then my average pace per kilometre is around 9.20—9.40 per minute. However, at Bath Half, I counted beeps and ran 90/30, 60/30 and 30/30 depending on how I was feeling and this gave me an overall, much faster, pace of 8.57 per kilometre and over 42 kilometres, this will make quite a difference and so this is the plan. 90/30 as much as possible but 60/30 and 30/30 as needed. It doesn’t matter if the running is slow, just do not to walk more than 30 seconds. It will also give my brain something to do and keep it occupied as I will need to count the beeps. If I zone out, there’s always the chance that my brain will work out the enormity of the task ahead and a full freak out might occur, so constantly counting up to 3 lots of 30 will keep us all on the straight and narrow.
I know that completing a marathon is as much about the mental battle as the physical one so I have been working hard to reframe my thinking. I’ve run 28K twice now and both times I was fairly done by the end, so the idea of 14k more after this is fairly daunting.
I am confident that I can do the distance (because I’m very stubborn) but I’m worried about the sweeper and so I must go for it speedwise, but not too soon, else it will all go wrong.

Therefore, I have decided that next Sunday is: 3 10k races, 2 parkruns, a cry, possible vomit and gritting my teeth over the final 2.2 kilometres.

If all goes to plan, it will look something like this:
0-10k. 10k training run – this is easy pace – a Sunday training run. No PBs here. 60/30 and 30/30 for the first 2-3k and then winding up to the 90/30, 60/30 and 30/30.


10-20k. 10k race – time to get comfortable. Not sitting back and beginning to stretch out a bit. Not going for a PB but certainly within a minute of it. Ideally here I will be running 90/30 and 60/30 alternatively with the odd 30/30 thrown in if I’m feeling I need a breather.


20-30k. 10k race – here is where it’s going to start to pinch. No time to think just counting. 90/30, 60/30 and 30/30 on a loop constantly with no let up.


As each 10k ticks over, I tell myself that I’m starting a new race. I’ve run the Bristol 10k enough times that I will envisage myself in the pen, being ready to go again.


As we enter the final 12k, we change to a different strategy. I’m no longer running 10k races and now I am doing park run. At this point there are 2 park runs to get to 40k.
The first of these parkruns is not one where I’m going for a PB, it’s one of those that take place in the middle of a long run ie a park run sandwich. It needs to be steady but not all out. I think this is where tears might start and the fear might start to creep in, but hopefully with the counting of beeps, I can just focus on the task. This parkrun will be Eastville Parkrun as this is traditionally my choice for a parkrun sandwich.
The second parkrun is the one where I will have nothing left and will need to run it with my head. I will be mentally going for a PB, but realistically will be hanging on for dear life at 30/30. Tears and anger are very likely to feature in this 40 minute window and I must keep moving forwards. I’ve been to some dark places over the past couple of years and I will need to remember this. Hopefully my hydration strategy will be working else I will be crying lumps of salt. Grit my teeth and dig in. DO NOT STOP.


Assuming I am still alive at 40k, it’s 2.2k to the end (although I will probably end up running further because you always do). There is no strategy for this. I’ll be hungry and tired and just wanting to get it over with. I will be promising myself that I will never put myself through anything like this and I will invoke my inner Diana Prince and shuffle to the finish line.


I also have the added incentive of my daughter needing to get a train home Sunday night after cheering me and my husband on. I need to get over that finish line in a decent time to stop her getting home too late. (Husband and Merida are both also doing the race too so I need to wish them both the best of luck).


So there we have it. Unhelpfully, the weather forecast is warm and sunny but my 2 long runs were done on warm days so I’m not going to let that worry me. Gels are ready, hydration is ready, trainers picked, kit tested. Just me and 42.2k to do. I am plagued by my failure at Weymouth 70.3 but this is my chance to put it to bed forever.

Wish me luck.

I do not have a charity place for Manchester Marathon but I would be very grateful if you would consider sponsoring me to run the marathon for the Mind Charity.
https://www.justgiving.com/page/claire-tiley-2?utm_medium=FR&utm_source=CL&utm_campaign=015

The following was written by my daughter:
Last year my youngest daughter went to an inpatient unit for 4 months after struggling with her mental health. She had struggled for the majority of her teenage years. She said “every single person goes through something at some point in their life that no one knows about” and I completely agree. It is for her and everyone else who understands and has experienced this, that I will have in my mind as I run on Sunday so…
I would be extremely grateful if you could spare a few pennies for this charity.
Thank you.

Valentine Vows

Posted on by chunkyrunner41

So here we are then. I’m 50 and I feel it.
The problem is I remember who I used to be and it’s hard to reconcile the two.
I had a difficult year last year and I lost my exercise way. I gained weight and had almost completely forgotten what it was to be fit, but then by chance one evening, picking up my eldest daughter from work, I saw a reformer pilates taster class. I went and was hooked. In the Summer I started going, Merida too, to a 9am Saturday class and every week, we followed it with coffee and a catch up chat. It became a staple and quickly became my favourite couple of hours of the whole week. I think since last August I have missed maybe 6 classes, certainly no more and although it’s very tough, I love it.

So a little routine started. I then started doing a few weights and then a couple of spin classes and I was beginning to feel a bit more in the groove. Merida and I discussed how we didn’t enjoy running and we’d found a way to be fit without needing to run.
One Sunday we had a conversation about how we definitely were over the running phase of our lives and we were happy about it.

The next day I signed up for Manchester Marathon and so, did Merida. You can’t make it up.

WHY? What is wrong with me?

I can tell you how it happened. My husband. We’ll blame him and his running mates who were talking that they should do a marathon as one of them, also 50 this year, had a thing that when he dies, he wants his eulogy to include that he ran a marathon. No-one ever mentions that you ran half marathons, they only mention the marathon. So they were all signing up.

Merida had trained for a marathon twice during covid, twice had completed the 22 mile long training run and then both times, the race had been cancelled. She has unfinished business.
Me? I’m just an idiot with, as a wise man once said, “an ego that is writing cheques that my body can’t cash” but I thought if there’s a few of us doing it, we might as well. It seemed like the universe was sending me a sign.

I checked the cut off and it’s 6 hours after the final person has crossed the start line – I’ve put in an optimistic (Ie unrealistic) finish time so I reckon I have about 7 hours to get round. This is still 90 minutes less than that stupid triathlon I trained for, so it seemed simple.
What I hadn’t factored in, as I excitedly wrote my training plan in a shiny new notebook that I bought especially for the new project, was that I was actually going to have to run……and if you’ve read this before, you’ll know that this is not my favourite thing to do.
So I’m in a bit of a bind. It’s 11 weeks to go and I’m run/walking as there is no way I can run that distance and I feel it’s better to plan the walks, than just sob my way round. But it’s hard.
I’ve bought the Runna app and am following the plan. It’s tricky to adapt it to run/walking but I’m doing the best I can.

What I am struggling with is consistency. Some weeks I manage the 4 runs and I feel like a rockstar. I have run/walked 10 miles so far on my longest run and, who am I kidding, it was awful, but I did it.

Work is busy and I am SO FED UP with running in the cold. I’m also sad to say that I am a bit too nervous to run in the dark on my own – I know it’s stupid, but I am so there we are. I joined a gym so I can do my intervals and tempo run on a treadmill (easier to keep pace) and this leaves only 2 outside runs to complete – one on a Sunday (Saturday is still pilates) and then the other one……..which is the one I struggle with. It really needs to be done at lunchtime (because it’s light and I cannot get out of bed in the morning to do it before work), it often is impossible to get out at this time due to endless Teams meetings and calls. Pre covid, I could do calls with a ruby red face, but now the risk is too great in case the dreaded words “shall we jump on a Teams instead” is uttered.

I’ve never suffered with SAD before but I genuinely think this year I am. My motivation is at zero and I’m worried about another DNF so I’m restarting this blog to give me a bit of focus. I’ve also made an appointment with the doctor to consider having my HRT increased as well.

I hadn’t run for over a week this morning and this evening, after work, I took myself off with the dog squad and went for a little run/walk to clear my head. I feel better. It’s so ANNOYING but it’s true.
So, I’m back writing this blog for inspiration.
Consistency is what I need so I’m going back to basics. The blog kept me going at the beginning of my running journey and now once again, I hope it’s going to help me get where I need to be.

Happy New Year – 2024

Posted on by chunkyrunner41

2024 is here and in the UK the weather has been abysmal. It wouldn’t have surprised me if I’d seen someone building a boat and loading pairs of animals into it at any point over the festive period and anyone who owns a dog have been questioning their life choices.

It’s hard enough to motivate yourself to run or exercise at the best of times but when the weather is bad….and there’s enough chocolate and cheese in your house to sink a battleship? Forget it.

Needless to say other than some long and muddy dog walks, I have not done much over the Christmas period.

Following my last blog and promise, I did run 3 times before the big Ho Ho Ho which was great, but then did nothing for the rest of the year.

Well, this isn’t strictly true. My sisters and families (there were 18 of us) all went to play laser tag on the 27th December and this was MUCH more exhausting than any of us could have predicted. I recommend this heartily if you have teenagers. I still have the remnants of a blister from my “ trigger finger”. It was fun and we were running and shouting and laughing. A kind of “Ab Fab” meets “Die Hard” if you will.

But other than this, ZILCH.

On New Year’s Day, my Instagram feed was a disappointing and depressing stream of “lose weight”, “get fit”, “be a better person” and honestly, it’s so depressing.

Why can’t they be more honest. So you’re not a bad person, and you are perfect the way you are, but if you fancy trying to be a bit healthier, maybe you could try this?…..this would be a much more positive way to proceed and wouldn’t make me (the reader) so angry.

So it’s important that I tell you that my plans for 2024 were already confirmed by the end of 2023 and none of this “New Year, New Me” bullshit is involved. I like to think I’m quite a cool person anyway (I can almost feel my daughters rolling their eyes at this?!) Yes I sometimes drink too much, spend too much money on shoes and handbags, and did lose my phone just before Christmas in an Uber due to too much champagne and sequinned fuelled bravado, but on the whole, I’m ok. I don’t need a complete overhaul, and probably just need a few tweaks – and I suspect most people are the same.

I’ve gained a bit of weight and this is largely due to eating too much and not moving enough for the last 6 months of 2023. There’s no way to dress this up. So if I want to lose this weight (and I’m not desperate but it would be nice not to hear my bum applauding me as a I run along) then I need to eat a bit less and move more.

For inspiration, I have re-read this blog from the beginning and so although I’d signed up for the Bath Half last year, I have now decided that I am definitely doing it. I came to this decision whilst eating some Cadbury’s Heroes over Christmas. 2024 is going to be a year of running for me. Getting back to basics and generally getting moving. But I’m not putting myself under any time pressures – races will be about getting round in one piece and not dying. Smiling is going to be critical for 2024 and I’m really going to try to keep things in perspective, especially as I feel a bit like a beginner again anyway.

I have written a plan and so far I’ve ticked all the sessions off. I’m going to Park Run on Saturday with Madame Maison and I’m excited. (Do need to dig out my barcode though – I only did 1 park run last year I think).

I need a new sports bra and some new running trainers (haven’t bought a new sports bra in over 2 years – this isn’t as awful as it sounds as I have lots of them and do rotate them, but I’m buying a new one and chucking the rest). Luckily it’s my birthday (I’ll be 49) later this month so that’s fortuitous.

I am also doing the 30 days of yoga on Youtube with Adrienne. So many people tell me about the benefits of yoga but I have always struggled. This is in part due to the fact that I am SO tight in my hips that most of the moves are borderline painful and so when I do finally pluck up the courage to go to a class, I hate it so much that I don’t return. BUT, mindful that a return to regular running, plus being a bit heavier can cause injuries, I am committed and will do the whole 30 days of yoga.

I need to be smart about this in order to keep myself moving, but it’s fair to say that I am not a naturally gifted yogi.

Rocky Balboa has nothing on me…

Posted on by chunkyrunner41

What a year it’s been…sheeesh.

It’s also been about a year since my last blog post and as you can imagine, quite a lot has happened so I’ll try my best to catch you up. Quickly.

My training last year was going great. I was working hard towards my goal but alas, as I was to discover, you cannot control everything.

The 113 race (which is the big half iron distance race without cutoffs and a fairly flat bike route in the Cotswolds) was in June and this was the first big test. Except it wasn’t. I felt rough on the morning but put it down to nerves and so soldiered on, gingerly jumping into the lake ready to give it my best. About 800m into the 1500m swim, I started being sick. This is not an easy thing to achieve whilst swimming, I can assure you, and I spent quite a few minutes sobbing whilst hanging onto the end of a safety team raft with the chap on it doing his level best to convince me to stop. Obviously I am too stupid to listen and so I somehow managed to keep myself going and into transition. At this point I DEFINITELY should have stopped. But when you are SO driven by a goal, we do not always do the sensible thing and so I headed out on the bike. I bargained with myself that as it was two laps of 45k, if I felt rough I would stop at the end of the first loop. I stopped 10 miles in, after having been sick a couple more times in a layby. (Vomit has been quite a theme of my triathlon journey last year)and I ultimately pulled up next to a friendly looking Marshall for a “breather for a minute” but as I unclipped and put my leg on the floor I collapsed. I was put in an ambulance in the silver foil blanket of doom (which was overkill in my opinion, I was embarrassed enough as it was!) and was driven home by Merida, feeling very sad and sorry for myself.

I did learn on that day just HOW important it is to have an ICE person written on the back of your race number. I’m not sure prior to that race, I ever really thought I would need it, but let me tell you it is critical to write someone down. I didn’t have my phone on me as it was in transition and I don’t know the numbers of my friends off by heart. Thank goodness I had Merida’s number on the back of my race number.

As I was driven home, snivelling into the sweet tea that Merida had miraculously produced, I was mentally ruined thinking I “just didn’t have it in me” to be a successful triathlete. The very next morning I tested positive for covid, again, and so it became clear that my body had simply been determined to protect me by making me throw up and collapse. Perhaps I could be a triathlete after all?

The summer rolled on, training rolled on (a lot of it in temperatures in excess of 30C) and then the day of Weymouth 70.3 itself came. Now I could do a long and detailed blog about the day itself and I suspect that one day I will, but today is not that day. Ultimately, I was kicked in the throat by a rogue breaststroker around 1600m into the 1900m (the swim had been going brilliantly up to this point) and I swallowed A LOT of sea water. When I got out of the sea and ran to transition, I spent 10 minutes being sick in a portaloo (not recommended), then spent 4 minutes sat on the floor shaking in transition, before heading out on the bike. I was very shaken up, had no food in my system and ultimately, was pulled off the bike course having missed the cutoff. I was not allowed to finish.

This is where things became difficult and it’s hard to explain.

I am very used to finishing races last and I’ve never been embarrassed about it. SOMEONE has to be last, and if it’s me, then so be it but it’s important to show up and give these things a go. I knew that Weymouth was a big ask and knew that I would be chasing the clock to get the medal and expected that I would be crossing the finish line with only a few moments to spare. But I never really expected not to finish at all. Now you may read this and think this is stupid (and you would be right), arrogant (quite possible, I mean it’s half ironman race where the cutoffs are designed for MEN, and everything about me screams “take up knitting”) but the fact remains, that I never expected NOT to finish. But my legs and head were not strong enough on the day and so I failed.

Mentally, this was devastating to me. I was angry with myself, I was furious with the breaststroker, furious with myself that I hadn’t planned for this event and cycled up more hills, etc etc. I just couldn’t fathom that I wouldn’t have that medal. And so I fell into a dark place.

I was signed up to do the Bath Half in October (a month after Weymouth). But I didn’t do it. My heart wasn’t in it and I was worried that something else would go wrong and I wouldn’t be able to finish again. So I didn’t do it at all. In the space of 4 weeks I had gone from someone who would try everything to someone who was scared to try anything at all.

This theme continued for the rest of last year and into this year and I did very little exercise indeed. Weight has crept on and I bargained with myself that I would take this year to regroup, lose weight, get strong and then sign up for something again next year – maybe have another crack at Weymouth. I’m not sure if anyone believed me as I certainly didn’t believe myself. My triathlon friends were fantastic and did their best to rally me. It turns out that some of the triathletes and athletes that I admire the most have had an experience like this (failure). I nodded along dutifully as they tried to cheer me up but the point was that they had all come back and successfully achieved after the failure and I just didn’t feel that I would ever enter a race again.

But then, slowly, and more recently, a shift.

I woke up one morning in February and desperate to try and pull myself out of my hole, I decided to try and train for an aquabike (which is a triathlon without the running). I wouldn’t sign up for it, but I would train and this would hopefully help to drag me back into the sunshine. I did no swimming or cycling training but bizarrely woke up one morning and decided to go for a run. Yes. A run?!

I started run/walking. Never for more than 30 minutes and often less, but I started moving. I was slow. REALLY slow, but I didn’t hate it. Music on, sometimes with the dog, sometimes on my commute to or from the office, but it started happening.

I also started running and training a bit with Madame Maison, who is doing Weymouth this year and we get on fantastically. For me, helping someone else when their own goals is the perfect way to get me off my sorry ass which in turn helps me to feel better. Endorphins are the most powerful drug after all. We get on well, and we’ve been running together. This has been going so well that I persuaded her to sign up to the Bristol 10k with me (it’s in 10 days time) and last weekend we ran/walked 10k together and it felt AMAZING. It’s the first time I’ve run anything close to a “distance” since last August and I felt proud of myself, of ourselves and the feeling of achievement should not be underestimated. I’ve also been leading a few runs with “This Mum Runs” on a Sunday and again this has also been a good thing. When you follow a training plan for so long and grind away at it, it’s easy to forget that exercise is supposed to be enjoyable?! But it is. And I’m enjoying it again, finally.

 I also completed the Tour de Bristol bike ride with my husband and Glinda 4 weeks ago and again, it was joyful. 65k was enough. Blimey it was certainly enough. I got off twice to push my bike up the hills as they feel harder than ever, but I got round in one piece and most importantly, I was smiling.

I’ve been going to the gym with my daughters a bit too. Lifting heavy weights is a great thing and we also now have a full size punch bag at home for those days when you just want to smash the living daylights out of something (I really recommend it).

The one thing I haven’t really been doing much of is swimming. But the weather is finally (please!) warming up and so I’ll be getting in the lake again soon.

The Bristol 10k running race is the weekend after next and this morning, I’ve signed up to do Westonbirt Sprint triathlon which is a lovely, no cutoffs, local race at the end of May. After saying for the past 6 months that I won’t do another triathlon every again, I’m going for a medal. I’m also strongly pondering signing up for the London Tri which is an Olympic distance race in August which cycles past the Houses of Parliament on closed roads. This feels like a big step and will require proper training, but I think I’m nearly there mentally and feel ready to train a bit again and so it’s likely I’ll sign up.

I’ve felt quite ashamed of myself being hidden and afraid to do anything. Especially as the original point of this blog was to be 100% honest about things and how hard they can be, but we are where we are. The menopause, home life, work all play a part too and for a while, it’s been better for me to prioritise elsewhere. However, I’m so pleased to say that I’m feeling ready to try again. Nearly. 

Will let you know how the Bristol 10k goes – have already told Madame Maison to not allow us to chase a pacer as I’m bound to suggest it at the last minute…we’re going to enjoy it…..unless the pacer is close…obviously.

What do you mean it’s a pandemic?

Posted on by chunkyrunner41

Life has a way of slapping you in the face just as you feel you are getting somewhere and this has always been my experience with running. I always find it hard, even after 6 years, but just when I’m getting somewhere and beginning to feel (dare I say it) strong, I fall down a pothole 2 days before a half marathon or twist my ankle.

I had carefully procured a place for Cardiff Half for the end of March and was beginning to feel good about it. Would this be the half marathon where I would be fit and run a proper race?

ENTER COVID…….and so errrrrr no.

I’ve had a good run (if you’ll pardon the pun) avoiding covid so far, but it’s a pandemic after all and so eventually my luck ran out. Myself and my eldest daughter tested positive first, followed by my youngest daughter two days later and then 5 days later my husband came down with it too. This meant, for the main part, I was isolating with teenagers. So if anyone has any questions about Tom Holland or Harry Styles, I can definitely help you. I’m also quite good at TikTok dances now and we did watch quite a lot of TV, paint our nails, do facepacks and tested new hairstyles quite a lot, but aside from that (which was actually quite joyful), the covid itself was horrible. I have asthma, I’m also triple jabbed and apparently Omicrom is less severe than previous strains, but I was quite poorly. My temperature spiked up and down and my breathing was awful. There is absolutely no doubt in my mind at all that had I caught covid before being jabbed that I would have almost certainly ended up in hospital.

Even after I finally tested negative, I was still feeling awful and not well. The exhaustion was brutal and I was napping constantly. My body felt ravaged. Mentally I was struggling too as I was also feeling very sad and anxious about the Cardiff Half.

The other thing that had happened whilst I had covid was that my left leg had locked up. It was painful and walking was not easy. Running was absolutely not possible at all and so I could feel desperation start to swallow me up. I had to make a decision and this is where M came in.

I am programmed to want to complete everything I enter. I sign up, I train and then do the race but Cardiff Half is not really what I’m training for this year. Yes 2 out of the 3 triathlons I’m doing have a half marathon at the end but I’m training for the triathlons, not the half marathon. So, the decision was made to not run the Half meaning that my first race of the year is now an Olympic distance triathlon mid May (I am also signed up for the Tour de Bristol which is a 100k bike ride in April, but this is not a race).

Deciding not to run Cardiff immediately took all the pressure away. I was able to build back up after covid with gentle training and no running for a further couple of weeks to allow my chest (which was still sounding like a bag of spanners) to recover properly. It was a total gamechanger and a much better and more sensible plan.

Therefore, since having had covid the emphasis has switched firmly to cycling and I’m doing 3 bike sessions a week. A 30 minute endurance ride, an interval session and a longer ride at the weekend.

I tend to fit these in around my daughters playing hockey and do my interval session on a watt bike at the gym whilst they train. The wattbike is an excellent piece of kit, but it seems to have the most uncomfortable saddle I have ever encountered. Goodness alone knows what the “serious looking gym boys” think when I arrive in my cycling padded shorts, with a padded saddle cover and sit there watching the TV on my phone (to distract me from my pain) and diligently following my plan. Last week, I somehow seemed to get into a pretend race with one of them as each time my interval (the fast bit) kicked in for 8 minutes, he pedalled even faster on his separate, not linked to mine at all, bike…..I don’t know who won but I looked like I’d just got out of the shower when I’d finished. Somewhat annoyingly, he didn’t even seem out of breath.

The bike section of the triathlon is the longest bit and if I am to have any chance of getting round Weymouth, I need to gain as much time as possible on the bike leg, to allow me to survive the run. So intensive bike training is going to continue. Luckily it’s my favourite bit, so I don’t mind the training so much.

I’ve also managed a few outside bike rides with my friends. I cannot tell you how much joy this aspect of training gives me. I’ve cycled to and from Bath a couple of times along the cycle path with the Auditor and this week Merida and I cycled to Clevedon for cake (it was very, VERY cold).

Since covid, I have run three times. Once as a 20 minute test (it wasn’t too bad) and then on Saturday I went to Chipping Sodbury parkrun with my eldest daughter and Merida. We met M and the Auditor there too – a flat parkrun is always a good idea! Merida got first in her age group and was delighted and I somehow managed to get a PB for Chipping Sodbury. I was pleased but very shocked. I guess it shows that all the base training is helping and working. Of course, M had already finished his 5k as I came round the corner for my final lap and so he offered to run with me. That kept the mind focussed I can tell you – running with the boss?!! But I suspect if I’d run the final lap alone, that I might have walked more and so wouldn’t had got a PB. So although I felt like I was dying on that final lap and desperately wanting to walk, but my pride now allowing me to, it lead to a good result.

The “covid recovery” weeks are now over in the training plan and so now it’s back to normal. Sleep and nutrition will once again be critical but we’re now 4 weeks out from the 100k bike ride (up mountains….I’ve looked at the route and frankly, what was I thinking?) and so we need to ramp things back up again.

Operation “let’s run everywhere”…

Posted on by chunkyrunner41

It’s been 2 weeks since my last blog and Operation “let’s run everywhere” is in full swing.

The first week we were on holiday in beautiful Dorset. Glorious, hot, picturesque and…hilly. Oh my days….the hills! But I committed to 4 runs and so I completed 4 runs.

The first two runs of the week were with my friend, the Barefoot runner and these were idyllic. We ran, we walked, we chatted, we laughed and we did get a bit lost. But we had nowhere to be at any particular time and so just ambled our way out and back. The hills were horrible however and our speeds were slow, but importantly they were enjoyable. It was very hot and so sweat was a feature and I regretted not packing my hydration vest. I need to remember that in future.

For our second run, all of our daughters (we have 4 between us) and our husbands (who are regular running partners anyway) all went and I couldn’t help but giggle as we set off from our tents, running in a big group (at the beginning anyway!)  We had become the families that I used to look at in disbelief as they would set off running whilst on holiday. I mean, what kind of crazy people do that, I used to think? Well…erm…us. We are now those people. I am bemused about this, yet also proud.

The third run of the week was on my own (so instantly less enjoyable) and this was just sprints backwards and forwards down a lane for 30 minutes (including a warm up and cool down). Functional, sweaty but necessary. The final run of the week (yes 4 runs whilst I was on holiday – I am as shocked as you are) was parkrun! Yes, my first parkrun post covid and I am not ashamed to say that I bribed my entire family with a cooked breakfast post run to attend along with me.

As we arrived in the car park on the Saturday morning, I felt that old prickle of excitement that you get at the beginning of a race that had been absent for so long now – yes I know that Parkrun is not a race, before I get lots of angry messages, but it is a large group of people running together and it’s GLORIOUS.

We attended the “new timers” briefing and then we were off. Husband shot off as fast as ever and was quickly followed by eldest daughter (who has signed up for the Bristol 10k, so is in training and she’s fast) and then my youngest daughter went too. I’m so proud of my youngest daughter as she finds running tedious and challenging and so I empathise enormously with her but she keeps showing up and doing her best. She is of course, still faster than me as she runs and I run/walk but we all got round in one piece and in respectable times. I was grinning as I thanked each marshall for their time (I have been a marshall and I always appreciate it when people say this to me and so we must pay it forward). I can also report that the cooked breakfast was magnificent.

So that was the first week and I had completed 4 runs. This is the most I have run in well over a year and a good start. Not all the runs were feeling terrible and although they were painfully slow, I wasn’t hating it. However, I needed to be consistent and so I needed to replicate this in the following week.

But of course, being back at work and life returning to normal would mean that it would be easy to skip some runs, which is not ideal 5 weeks from a half marathon and so I needed a plan. I like running with other people and although I don’t mind running alone sometimes, I have deduced in recent weeks that to get through this training phase, I need company, and so I reached out to my network of running buddies.

I did and do feel anxious about doing this, as running 90/30 is not ideal for everyone, but I decided to be honest with the people I contacted and give them a pass to say no, especially if it didn’t fit in with their training plans. Transparency is key in these situations and I also knew that I would be happy to run with others if the tables were turned.

So last week I ran with Smiler for a short 2 mile burst before she then joined the “This Mum Runs” Wednesday social run afterwards and on Thursday I joined the Seamstress on a lovely lunchtime run between Eastville Park and Snuff Mills. The temperatures at the moment are not great for running and seem to be a constant reminder as to why I decided never to train for a half marathon over the summer again, but the conversation helps so much. Not only because these people are my friends and so it’s lovely to catch up with them, but also because it makes the runs enjoyable, and I need all the help I can get with that!

On Saturday it was “long run day” and so as I have in the past, I decided to utilise parkrun. I met with the lovely Catherine after 5k and we ran/walked the final 8.24k to, and including, parkrun making it 13.24k in total. I don’t mind telling you that afterwards I was shattered. The heat is hard to run in, as well as getting up with a 5 in the hour to ensure that I had eaten enough to cope with the distance, this coupled with the distance, meant that I was wiped out. I’m out of practice and you forget quickly how hard these bigger distances are on the body. I had also completely forgotten about chafing….but a sweaty 13k run will very soon remind you of that. I had sore bits and sudocrem was my friend in the days immediately after.

I met husband and youngest daughter at the end of parkrun (they had run it too) and we went home – Catherine ran home as she is training for a virtal marathon – legend. I was shattered, but for the first time in a long time, I began to believe that I would be able to run the distance.

My running buddy for the Great North Run, the Red Lady, is injured and so cannot run with me on the day itself and so this is daunting, but I am determined to do it. I am not going for a time. The aim is to simply get round in one piece, uninjured.

I was supposed to run yesterday, a recovery run, following my epic Saturday run, but I was too tired and so didn’t. Bt I did go out for a dog walk and leg stretch and this evening, I have done some strength work. Tomorrow I am already booked in for another run with Smiler and this time her lovely Mum which I am looking forward to. I also have 10 miles planned for next Saturday, using Eastville Parkrun again as part of the run.

I running the Great North Run for charity as you know, so if you are able to, please consider sponsoring me.

If everyone who reads this blog sponsored me for £1, I would hit my target and it would mean so much to me. I would be so happy to be able to give back to the charity that helped me when I most needed it.

Here is my Just Giving page details: https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/claire-tiley

This week marks 4 weeks to go and my goal is to complete another 4 runs. Wish me luck.

Guess who’s back…

Posted on by chunkyrunner41

You will have no doubt noticed that it’s been nearly 6 months since my last blog and I’m sorry about this. It’s been a difficult six months (for all of us) including another sodding lockdown but for me it also included an injury. At the end of January (the weekend when it snowed) I set off to take part in the “Me-versus-me” challenge as set by my tri club. The idea is that you pick a 10k route and race the same stretch once a month, all year. The results would be recorded as a percentage increase or decrease only and then prizes would be given out at the end of the year.

Bolstered by my 10k time in the January race, and determined to do well in this challenge, I set off and completed the 10k in a respectable 75 minute or so time. The problem was it was so cold that something went pop and as a result I pulled my groin.

And my god, it was painful. I ended up in A and E and spent a week on some very interesting painkillers that meant I spent the week in bed as high as a kite to be able to manage the pain. There was no running for 8 weeks and if I’m being honest, it isn’t 100% perfect now.

This coupled with the third lockdown meant that I struggled during the first few months of this year from a fitness perspective and have also gained a bit of weight. Not a huge amount (and kind friends tell me they can’t really see it, but it’s enough that I feel it when I run and it’s slowing me down again). I ended up pulling out of the Olympic triathlon completely.

Since April though, I have at least been exercising a bit, but just not at the intensity that my body had gotten used to, and it has been a bit intermittent. One week I would do 3 spins on my bike, 2 runs, a swim and some weights and the following week only 1 run and a weights session. It’s been enough to keep my mental health ticking over, but not enough to get back to proper full fitness.

One positive point though is that I have restarted PT. Since April, I have been going with Fitbit sister to Silverthorne Fitness and this has been a consistent once a week fixture. Strength and weights are now fully ticked off and as the groin strain was so incredibly painful and debilitating, I am very keen that it not happen again. EVER. Sara (PT) is an excellent trainer and even if the rest of my training week has been a bit less than it should have been, it counts as a restart point each week. I have seen huge progress and am now lifting much heavier than when we started. Fitbit Sister and I are naturally competitive with each other too which helps and Sara definitely uses this fact in the sessions too. I love them and they have really helped me this year. We have a couple of weeks break coming up for holidays, but this is something I can see continuing indefinitely.

But running. Oh running. As always, when things are not great for me, it’s the one thing that stops. Honestly, I have been so worried about injuring my groin again, that for a long time I was too scared to re-start running and opted to swim and cycle instead. Regular readers of this blog will not necessarily be surprised by this but it doesn’t help when the Great North Run is now 7 weeks away and it’s 13.1 miles.

I have been so annoyed by the injury also that I have struggled to recover. At the beginning of the year, I was finally, FINALLY, getting my running to a point where I was making progress. I am a slow runner, but I would like to be faster and all that I was doing was beginning to work. To have been stopped, literally, in my tracks by an injury was frustrating on a whole new level. I try so hard and train so diligently, that it just isn’t fair and for a long time this year I was pretty pissed off about it all.
Work has also been very busy and so it’s been easy to not do as much as I need to. Of course, work has been busy in the past and I’ve managed to fit my training by running before or after work, but I was using it as an excuse and wasn’t committed in the way that I have been in the past.  

BUT….I’m pleased to say that I seem to finally be finding my way back.

I have been running a bit more over the past few weeks and as I write this, I am 7 weeks away from the Great North Run – 13.1 miles. I think this has also been part of my apathy, as we really didn’t know if the race would go ahead, and it’s difficult to find the effort to train for a race that might not even happen but now it seems to be confirmed.

I am delighted to be running this event for charity and will be part of the Bodie Hodges Foundation charity team.

These guys were amazing and offered me a place to run with them after my Mum passed away nearly two years ago and I have always been grateful to them for that. Therefore (for the first time ever I add), I am running the race for charity. Please consider sponsoring me and my efforts as they offer such a wonderful services to the bereaved families of children as well as raising awareness of organ donation. https://www.bodiehodgesfoundation.co.uk/

I would be really grateful if you could sponsor me a few quid.

Here is my Just Giving page details: https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/claire-tiley

So with this in mind, and the pressure now being well and truly on,  I really do need to get my act together.

Tomorrow I am going to run 7 miles; run/walking obviously, there’s no reason to go mad, but it’s happening. This blog is my call to arms and has always in the past, acted first and foremost as an accountability post for myself. 3 runs a week and 7 weeks to go.

I’ve done it before, but this time it feels like it almost feels like starting over. Let’s do this.

Runniversary and a new decade

Posted on by chunkyrunner41

2020 heralds the beginning of a new decade and a new year.

For me this is the perfect opportunity for a reset. The 3rd of January marked my runniversary (4 years since I downloaded the couch to 5k app and changed my life for ever) and I did spend quite a portion of the day mulling over the past 12 months.

It wasn’t a great year as you know and many awful things happened.

BUT, good things happened too and I need to keep reminding myself of this.

  • I learned to ride Shiny Sheena properly using all the gears. You may inwardly snigger at this, I mean, it’s just a bike isn’t it? but road bikes are complicated and you almost need to sit a test to understand how it all works. I finally understand the difference between the big ring and small ring on the gears and I’m not afraid to cycle in traffic. This last bit is HUGE as I have been terrified of this for years and as Bristol is a “cycle city” this is quite important. This culminated in completing the Tour de Bristol 100k bike ride up welsh mountains and back in April. It nearly broke me, but I did it.
  • I finally learned how to front crawl and found that I love open water swimming. I find the swimming pool quite dull now and the chlorine makes my nose itch for hours afterwards. At the swimming pool there is no-one to assist in or out of a wet suit (which happens regularly up at Mad Mike’s lake with people you may or may not know!) I love the camaraderie of the cup of tea afterwards in the club house where we all shiver and try and warm up after the swim wearing gloves, hats and Uggs in May. I even enjoy squeezing myself into my wetsuit like a sausage….I am convinced that this burns at least 100 calories before I even start the swim. My swimming bag contains small plastic bags (to go over my hands and feet which helps you to get then suit on) and lots of body glide to minimise the rubs. At least I look like I know what I am doing from the casual observer.
  • I completed a middle distance triathlon. I do need to keep reminding myself of this as it’s huge. 70.3 miles propelled forwards by my own body. Much of the run was miserable admittedly, but I still completed it and against all the odds. I am super proud of this. As my Mum was taken ill 4 days after the tri, I didn’t really have a chance to digest it at the time or even think about it really, but I need to remind myself. And often. I looked at the medal on the 3rd January and it’s a good one. It might be my favourite….but there are some other contenders there for that accolade also.
  • I ran the Great North Run, which whilst it was an emotional decision to even try it, was one of the greatest things I have ever done. I absolutely loved it and I smiled from start to finish (which was no mean feat in September, I can assure you). I am running it again this year but this year I am going to train properly for it so I can walk the next day, unlike last year. I’m also going to be officially part of “Team Brodie” and will be doing some fundraising for them throughout the year – more on this as the year goes on.
  • I met and was enormously welcomed by North Bristol Triathlon Club. What lovely people they are. It doesn’t matter that I am the slowest and least competent athletic member they have ever encountered, they only seem to care that I am trying my best. They cheered me on at the 113 and have offered advice, encouragement and care when I need it repeatedly over the past year. I even won an award at the Christmas party – the “smiling through adversity” award and it meant so much to me. (Although if there had been a “who drank the most fizz and remained upright” award, I may well have been successful in this category too although I would have faced plenty of stiff competition on the night. Triathletes certainly know how to party as my slightly dishevelled and drunken photo here demonstrates).

I had been so intimidated by a “triathlon” club in the beginning and never would have joined had Merida not encouraged me, but you would be hard pressed to find a more supportive collection of people. If you have any interest in any of the disciplines of triathlon (many members only do one or two of them so don’t let it put you off) do look them up and maybe I’ll see you at a training session soon. http://northbristoltri.co.uk/

So where to this year? And where to this decade? This are very good questions. I have some events lined up – some serious and some not so serious. I have days where I am full of enthusiasm and vigour and want to book BIG events and then some days when I struggle to do anything. But on the whole things are moving in the right direction and I am doing much more exercise than I was 6 weeks ago.

The main thing is I have started running again. The physio told me to go easy to start with and mentally I struggle anyway as running often brings the tears. It’s an emotional release (probably because I find it so incredibly hard) and so for the last 4 weeks of 2019 I ran/walked (3 minutes to 1 minute) just to try and get back into the habit of running again, often whilst crying a bit, but it has helped me enormously. Run/walking is much more enjoyable than properly running and so it’s felt more manageable. Anything “too hard” isn’t an option some days and I was of the opinion that something is better than nothing.

Minehead Dec 2019Then a week ago, I ran 35 minutes without stopping. It felt great to know it’s still in there and I can do it if I need to. I didn’t start the run planning to see if I could run without walking, it just felt ok when I started, so I decided to keep going. Before I knew it, I had run the whole journey to work (I fit many of my runs in around my work commute) and I was elated. It also means that I am once again able to lead runs for This Mum Runs as a Run Angel. I didn’t do much of this last year due to injuries, not to mention the Dark Summer, so this very good news indeed. I love it. I love running with my friends and also love running with ladies at the beginning of their running journeys. It gives me genuine joy.

My big race and my big goal this year is going to be…yes you guessed it, the Bristol 10k. My old nemesis. 2018 and 2019 were blighted by injury (even though I managed to get round) but THIS IS THE YEAR. If I can keep my old knackered body going for 8 and a half hours to complete a triathlon, then I MUST be able to run the Bristol 10k in less than 75 minutes. I have already sought out a pacer for this event and Smiler has bravely (because I can be a bit grumpy in races if I’m trying to go fast, just ask Merida) offered to pace me to whatever time I want to go for. Already I want to go sub 75, but possibly, and hopefully, I will end up going for an even faster time. We’ll see as training progresses in the coming weeks.

In addition, lots of my close friends are doing marathons this year; Merida is running Manchester, Hattie and Smiler are both running the London Marathon.  It’s very hard not to get FOMO (fear of missing out), but I know I must be patient and take time over the course of 2020 to get strong again and most importantly, get my running back up to scratch after, essentially, having had a year out from it.

I have entered a couple of triathlons too – the 51Fiver, is an Olympic distance (1500m swim, 40k bike and 10k run – which is possibly what I should have done last year, but when do I ever take the simple route?!) and I’m also entered in the Long Course Weekend in July which is a 1.9k swim on Friday in the sea (with jellyfish I discovered last night – yikes), the 90k cycle on Saturday (it’s hilly, are there any flat parts of Wales?) and a 10k run on the Sunday. This is to keep my cycling and swimming ticking over as well as providing a good cross training programme for my running – which is my priority this year. I love cycling too and so I can’t give this up – it brings me too much joy. Life is short and we must do things that make us happy.

If all goes well and things are looking ok, I might enter the Weymouth 70.3 triathlon in September. I have a hotel room booked already (which can be cancelled up until the day before the event), and as I know it rarely sells out, I can make the decision a couple of weeks beforehand. It’s niggling away at me, because I was supposed to do it last year but I need to not suffer any injuries and rebuild my body before this can even be considered.

In fact, I think my greatest goal for 2020 will be to get to the end of it in one piece and strong.

I want to do a marathon in 2021 and so 2020 will be a year of foundation work, hopefully with some fun and events thrown in for good measure. For 2021, I have my eye on a bucket list marathon (which will be as serious as it gets) as well as a wine and cheese marathon in France (which will be decidedly less serious and will involve fancy dress) so plenty to motivate me to work hard this year and onwards, into the new decade.

It’s my birthday this week and I will be 45. No-one can tell what the future holds and if I’d told myself in 2009 (or even 2016 when I first dowloaded the couch to 5k app) that I would be a member of a triathlon club on 2019, I never would have believed it. So much has changed in the past decade and I wonder where the next decade will take me.

Let’s find out.

Decade to decade photo

The Great North Run

Posted on by chunkyrunner41

This is not a blog about grief and it never will be, but it’s impossible to write this post without touching upon it a little bit. My Mother sadly passed away on the 6th August and the grief is heavy. It’s debilitating and it is physical. I am surprised by just how physical it is and I am exhausted. All of the time. Some days walking is difficult, but I have been forcing myself to run and then walk and then run a bit more as often as I can. The days when I run are really the only days when I manage to sleep at night too so there is added incentive.

The topic of the Great North Run was weighing heavy on my mind as Mum had told me to do it.

A few people messaged me to say, “don’t do, it’s a terrible idea and you have enough on your plate” and they were absolutely right of course. Also a few people messaged me to say “do it. It’s a race unlike any other, but only do it if you can enjoy it”. I had no idea what to do. I decided to leave it and believed that the right answer would present itself, one way or another.

In the weeks after my Mum leaving us, I was lucky to have the support of family and very good friends. The Red Lady was always coming to support me running the Great North Run, if I did it, but she was never going to run it with me. She wasn’t trained for it, last having run a half marathon in 2016 and only running a couple of 10ks this year. One very good friend, I won’t embarrass her by naming her, has contacts at the Great North Run and over coffee when she was checking how I was, asked me if it would help me decide if the Red Lady could get a place to run it with me? I decided it would and she worked her magic and before I could even blink, the Red Lady had a place. The conversation when I spoke to the RL went a bit like this: “so, er, if I could get you a place on the GNR, do you fancy running it with me?”……….”what? that is INSANE! and yes, definitely!”.

So we were doing it.

GNR Celebrity busesWe arrived at the hotel the night before, following a 5 hour train ride, stiff, hungry and wondering what on earth we were playing at! An early night followed, during which I slept for about 45 minutes  and then a 6.45am alarm. At breakfast I was too nervous to eat but forced down some porridge and toast and then we went to wait for the bus and meet our “Team Bodie Hodges” team mates. What an absolutely lovely bunch of people they are. Many of them had run the GNR before and they were full of tales about how incredibly awesome it is. I was excited and nervous. The bus arrived to collect us and with a severe case of “imposter syndrome”, we boarded the bus.

We were deposited around 300 metres past the start line into a VIP area which had private toilets (I need about 74 pre race wees on average so this was magnificent news) and were able to watch the elite women and wheelchair athletes warming up. It was AMAZING.

GNR Nell and Gabby Logan

Dropping my bag off, I finally got to meet Nell McAndrew. What an absolutely lovely lady she is. Completely down to earth, friendly, and chatting like she was An old pal we’d met for a drink in the pub with even though this was the first time I had ever met her. We chat a bit on Instagram but we’d never met and I was so incredibly grateful that she had arranged this whole day for me. I tried to tell myself to stay cool, but I probably wasn’t! I was grinning like the Cheshire Cat.

We were able to mill around near the start line and watch the elite ladies go off. Being 10 metres away from Brigit Kosgei, Mary Keitany and Charlotte Purdue was an absolute highlight and privilege . They look so strong and fast. I could have started in the front row if I’d wanted to for the main race (and a couple of the Team Bodie Hodges did!) but I’m afraid that fear of being trampled to death got the better of me and so the RL and myself bid my team mates farewell and moved about 10 rows further back.

And then we were off.

With neither of us being even close to being half marathon fit, the Red Lady and myself had devised a strategy to get us round in one piece, and hopefully without injury. This was to run the first 3k in one go (in order to stop being crushed by the masses) and then run the rest of the race strictly adhering to run 3 minutes and then walk 1 minute and to keep to the left as much as possible to try and keep out of the way of the speedier runners. However, we needn’t have worried as the start of GNR is on two sides of a road. The elites were on one side and the celebrities and charity runners were on the other side so the first couple of kilometres were fine. Not one person was trampled and we were all smiling.

All was well until the runners came through who were chasing times. It became a bit “pointy elbowed” at this point and we did our best to keep out of their way as they speeded past us. We got into a habit of tucking in tight as soon as the red pacer flags ran past knowing that this was “peak” trample period. I understand what it’s like to go for a time if you’ve trained for long weeks to achieve one, but trampling over a middle aged trundler to achieve one is not ok and runner etiquette should be considered.

I have run quite a few races in my short running career, but I have never, ever, EVER run a race that is as noisy and well supported as the Great North Run. The crowds are SO LOUD that I found myself almost begging for some peace and quiet. Every third person had a tub of jelly babies, haribo or sweets, there were motivational signs, kids demanding high fives, spectators shouting our names, offering us ice-pops, setting us their own impromptu water stations, beer stops (yes at Mile 10 there was a chap filling up cups of Newcastle Brown and handing them out – obviously I had one), handing out cups of Lucozade that they had bought themselves, getting their garden hoses out to spray us and cool us down. It was AMAZING. It was not just for the beginning and end, pretty much the entire route was like this. It was hot and Newcastle was ready to party.

There were many highlights, too many to mention, but Elvis, singing karaoke in the middle of the road at mile 11(ish) was definitely one of them. The Red Lady and I danced past him and sang a bit too.

But it wasn’t just the spectators having a great time, the runners were too. Newcastle has a lot of bridges and under passes and so everytime we went under one, it is apparently law that we all shout “Oggie oggie oggie…….”. After about 57 rounds of this, I was ready to hit the open roads.

Running over the Tyne Bridge was epic and it was then, for the first time, that I got a sense of just how many people there were running the race. We could see runners as far as the eye could see and for the first time on the race, I felt a bit emotional.

Our 3/1 strategy worked remarkably well, on the whole. We had promised each other that we would strictly stick to the gameplan, otherwise, we knew that we would end up walking more than we wanted. I kept an eye on my Garmin watch and was in charge of shouting run and walk. 3 minutes is not a long time to run and I quickly got into a routine. As we ran, by the time I first glanced at my watch, it was usually showing that we’d been running 90 seconds, then I would look again and we only had 20-30 seconds left. 60 seconds was enough time to recover and RL was very good at reigning me in when I would go off too quickly at the start of each 3 minute segment. I tried not to think about the distances only the next 3 minutes. 10k rolled around and I have to tell you that it was the best, easiest and most enjoyable 10k I have ever run (running is always more enjoyable when you don’t care how fast you are going). We didn’t chat much whilst running, but chatted plenty whilst walking, often laughing about something we had just seen. I knew that kilometres 10-16 would feel tough so just tried to focus and on the whole it was ok although clearly it wasn’t entirely comfortable.

GNR Mile 10 ALONE High Res

Around the 10-11 mile mark, I felt tearful suddenly and this threatened everything because 3/1 works because your breathing is regulated, but crying really messes up your breathing, and I could feel proper snotty, gut wrenching tears bubbling under the surface. I confided in my buddy what was happening and we decided to take a couple of longer walk breaks to get things back under control, which we did. 2 walk breaks of 2 minutes and we were back in business.

We were now into the final 3 miles and we were tired but could feel the end was close. At the end of the GNR, you see the sea, then go down a very steep hill (which hurt my knees, ankles and boobs as the bounce factor on a steep downward hill should not be underestimated) and then you turn onto the final stretch towards the finish line for the final mile. We cheered when we saw the sea. I could hardly believe that we were already nearly there, but the final mile felt long. My legs were tired and my feet were burning.

If the crowds along the route were loud, they were nothing compared with the final straight. I couldn’t hear anything that the RL was saying to me at all. They were 10 deep at the barrier and people were sat on a Grandstand clapping and cheering us in. We crossed the line and I absolutely sobbed my heart out. We completed the race in 3 hours, 6 minutes and 15 seconds. It was slow, but I genuinely didn’t care a jot. It was magnificent and I truly count the GNR as one of my greatest ever achievements.

GNR finishing on my own

It is now that I must pay tribute to the Red Lady. Not only for agreeing to run a race with me that she wasn’t trained for (she’s mad), but also for how incredibly happy and smiley she was throughout the entire race. As we chugged along, she practically skipped, almost dancing and grinned the whole way through the experience.

We both lost our Mums this year to cancer and so we both had moments of pain during the race but we got through it together.

After the race, being in the VIP pavilion, we had a shower (yes, a SHOWER) something to eat and then we were on a coach that was given a police escort back to the hotel afterwards (as the roads were all still closed!)

I bid my team mates farewell and we went back to the hotel to head to the airport.

It was the most enjoyable race I have ever run. More importantly, it has re-ignited my love affair with running which has been absent for many months now. The Red Lady has told me it had the same effect on her. Therefore, we are both signed up to run it again next year but have made each other the promise that the GNR will always be our “happy” race and we will never rush it. It will never be our PB course, because there are too many kids to high five and too many beers to drink en route…. I will also be running for Team Bodie Hodges next year again and intend to raise some money for them.

Fearless Westonbirt Sept 2019

For the rest of this year I have only one plan. Keep running. I’m not going to put myself under any pressure for times but I’m just going to take each day as it comes and hopefully complete a few races. Life is for living and it should be enjoyed. I ran a 10k at Westonbirt at the weekend (slowly using 3/1 again) and I also have a place for the Cardiff Half marathon at the beginning of October.

One day at a time and keep moving forward. There are times in life when training hard and pushing for fast times are right but there are also times when they are not.

I have some plans forming for next year already, but for now until Christmas, the only plan I have is to keep moving forward and try and smile as much as possible.