My last few blog posts (and they have been few and far between this year) have all had the same theme…..”I’m back”, or “here we go again”…or “time to get back to it”. But the honest answer is I haven’t really made it back at all and what I have managed, has lacked consistency.

I’m not completely sedentary though and have been doing the odd gym visit, cycle commuting and running in fits and starts, but it isn’t enough. It certainly isn’t consistent enough to build any fitness and definitely not consistent enough to make a dent in the weight that I have subsequently gained this year.

I started running when I was 41. This blog has now been running a number of years and I almost feel like I have gone full circle. I will be 50 in 13 months time and I do not want to be having this same conversation with myself this time next year.  The time to take action has arrived (yes I know I’ve said this before, but…..here we are).

Am I back where I was 8 years ago? No. I have plenty of invaluable knowledge that I have gained over the past 8 years about running, cardio, strength, core strength, swimming, cycling, HIIT and nutrition so in theory, I shouldn’t be in this state. And yet I am. So what am I lacking?

Motivation. It’s the most important thing. But I am nearly 50 and the menopause is no joke. This isn’t a blog post about the menopause but it’s tough and the most challenging symptom that it has delivered is that it has robbed me of motivation and I am tired ALL THE TIME.

I constantly have an attack of the CBA (can’t be arsed) and it affects every part of my life – with the exception of work. Work is going very well but it takes every ounce of my energy to achieve this and leave no energy for anything else.

2023 has seen the return to the office, largely everywhere, and since October I have been back in the office 5 days a week and my goodness it’s been an adjustment. For my mental health, it has definitely been good as I am a social person and putting makeup on to leave the house is a positive thing for a middle aged woman. The commute to and from the office is a golden opportunity to run or cycle and get some easy exercise in, but the reality has been that I have felt too knackered or “CBA” to do it.

So what to do?

Well, I think the obvious answer is to enter a race and train for it and just focus on this one thing. I need to view it as an escape (it’s a big exam year in our house next year with my daughters sitting A levels and GCSEs and it can be stressful).

Since starting triathlon, I have tried to keep all elements going, but it’s too much on top of everything else. There are only so many hours in the day and with work and family life I need to prioritise. I’m not someone who can get up at 5am to train and it’s time to accept that. (I can hear the people who know me well laughing heartily at that statement). Somewhere, whilst training for the 70.3 triathlon, I lost sight of what exercise is.

It is supposed to make you feel better. I need to chase some endorphins and hopefully weight loss will follow. So I’m going back to my roots. This blog is called Chunky Runner and I’m once again a Chunky Runner.

I’ve signed up for Bath Half and at the moment I can run/walk for 30 minutes and that’s it.

I have a lot to do but I know I can do it. It won’t be fast or pretty but I’m game to try and I’m going to go back to writing this blog weekly to keep me accountable.

My plan for each week is 2 runs in the week as a commute home from the office (short, 5k, hills or sprints) and then a longer run at the weekend. For this I am going to use Parkrun or the Sunday This Mum Runs group so I will have some company. I also think not having a Running Buddy makes it hard to drag yourself out on a cold day, so hopefully running with others will take the edge off the CBA.

I’m going to do my utter best to write this blog weekly once again to keep me accountable, just as I did in the beginning. If you want to join me in a race/goal then please do and let me know how you’re getting on too. There is always strength in numbers.

Bath Half is 17^th March next year and I really need to stop procrastinating and get on with it. My strava numbers have never been so low…but the only way is up.

It’s the 6 December today and my plan is that by next Friday, I will have run 4 times. I will let you know how that goes.