So here we are then. I’m 50 and I feel it.
The problem is I remember who I used to be and it’s hard to reconcile the two.
I had a difficult year last year and I lost my exercise way. I gained weight and had almost completely forgotten what it was to be fit, but then by chance one evening, picking up my eldest daughter from work, I saw a reformer pilates taster class. I went and was hooked. In the Summer I started going, Merida too, to a 9am Saturday class and every week, we followed it with coffee and a catch up chat. It became a staple and quickly became my favourite couple of hours of the whole week. I think since last August I have missed maybe 6 classes, certainly no more and although it’s very tough, I love it.

So a little routine started. I then started doing a few weights and then a couple of spin classes and I was beginning to feel a bit more in the groove. Merida and I discussed how we didn’t enjoy running and we’d found a way to be fit without needing to run.
One Sunday we had a conversation about how we definitely were over the running phase of our lives and we were happy about it.

The next day I signed up for Manchester Marathon and so, did Merida. You can’t make it up.

WHY? What is wrong with me?

I can tell you how it happened. My husband. We’ll blame him and his running mates who were talking that they should do a marathon as one of them, also 50 this year, had a thing that when he dies, he wants his eulogy to include that he ran a marathon. No-one ever mentions that you ran half marathons, they only mention the marathon. So they were all signing up.

Merida had trained for a marathon twice during covid, twice had completed the 22 mile long training run and then both times, the race had been cancelled. She has unfinished business.
Me? I’m just an idiot with, as a wise man once said, “an ego that is writing cheques that my body can’t cash” but I thought if there’s a few of us doing it, we might as well. It seemed like the universe was sending me a sign.

I checked the cut off and it’s 6 hours after the final person has crossed the start line – I’ve put in an optimistic (Ie unrealistic) finish time so I reckon I have about 7 hours to get round. This is still 90 minutes less than that stupid triathlon I trained for, so it seemed simple.
What I hadn’t factored in, as I excitedly wrote my training plan in a shiny new notebook that I bought especially for the new project, was that I was actually going to have to run……and if you’ve read this before, you’ll know that this is not my favourite thing to do.
So I’m in a bit of a bind. It’s 11 weeks to go and I’m run/walking as there is no way I can run that distance and I feel it’s better to plan the walks, than just sob my way round. But it’s hard.
I’ve bought the Runna app and am following the plan. It’s tricky to adapt it to run/walking but I’m doing the best I can.

What I am struggling with is consistency. Some weeks I manage the 4 runs and I feel like a rockstar. I have run/walked 10 miles so far on my longest run and, who am I kidding, it was awful, but I did it.

Work is busy and I am SO FED UP with running in the cold. I’m also sad to say that I am a bit too nervous to run in the dark on my own – I know it’s stupid, but I am so there we are. I joined a gym so I can do my intervals and tempo run on a treadmill (easier to keep pace) and this leaves only 2 outside runs to complete – one on a Sunday (Saturday is still pilates) and then the other one……..which is the one I struggle with. It really needs to be done at lunchtime (because it’s light and I cannot get out of bed in the morning to do it before work), it often is impossible to get out at this time due to endless Teams meetings and calls. Pre covid, I could do calls with a ruby red face, but now the risk is too great in case the dreaded words “shall we jump on a Teams instead” is uttered.

I’ve never suffered with SAD before but I genuinely think this year I am. My motivation is at zero and I’m worried about another DNF so I’m restarting this blog to give me a bit of focus. I’ve also made an appointment with the doctor to consider having my HRT increased as well.

I hadn’t run for over a week this morning and this evening, after work, I took myself off with the dog squad and went for a little run/walk to clear my head. I feel better. It’s so ANNOYING but it’s true.
So, I’m back writing this blog for inspiration.
Consistency is what I need so I’m going back to basics. The blog kept me going at the beginning of my running journey and now once again, I hope it’s going to help me get where I need to be.